The 3rd stage:
There was no blog about the 3rd hundred hours on my site yet. That’s because I read the blog about the second hundred hours Zhan Zhuang and concluded that the practice had deepened further in the third 100 hours, that there was much more peace in my body and mind, but that there was not much new to report.
Changes are not always (immediately) noticeable. But make no mistake: they also occur when you don’t notice them. My teachers compare it to an iceberg that is chiseled away from the inside. You don’t see anything on the outside, but a process has started unnoticed. Not only does the outside world not see anything about you, you can also have the feeling for a long time that you are not or hardly making any progress, while the deepening is really continuing.
This lack of clear progress does not make it easy to persevere in the daily training, but my previous experiences with such a period helped me. In my head an idea had also settled: the longer this period of imperceptible change would last, the greater the final results. Whether that will come true is still the question because I am aiming quite high with my intentions, but the experiences below show that a lot has been set in motion again.
Here’s some data:
Start supergong March 22, 2022. 1034 days on the road of which I trained 784 and therefore skipped practicing for exactly 50 days.
Making 100 hours is starting to take less time
I did 270 days for the first 100 hours; 35 days of truancy.
The second period was very tough and my mind struggled fiercely: I did it in 322 days. Many days of truancy, but also many days that I could not stand for 30 minutes due to physical and emotional discomfort.
In the third period there was a lot of improvement in the emotional area: I did it in 246 days.
The 4th stage of a hundred hours lasted from July 10, 2024 to January 19, 2025, 184 days of meditation to complete 100 hours. The last weeks I practiced 45 minutes, before that 30 minutes a day, which is why the period was slightly shorter than 200 days.
Progress…
The 4th stage
New insights on the level of Qi: emotions
Practicing Zhan Zhuang my emotions calmed so much that it sometimes felt like I was taking antidepressants. Now I have no experience with that kind of medication, but I read that emotions are flattened by it. I went through something like that too: high peaks and deep valleys became a long straight line. Did that feel good? Yes and no. The peace it brought was pleasant, but the emptiness; the feeling that nothing really matters (anymore) was not good.
Emotions that are too strong can make our lives hell. Too much fear, anger, sadness, worries. But it makes a lot of sense the books on Qigong emphasize on cultivating joy. Joy is in the Qi of the heart and lungs. Joy of life and courage to live! When you combine those emotions with awareness, the Qi continues to flow well. This prevents you from ending up in a so-called Wang Kong state: emptiness without reflection, awareness is switched off. You feel like a log of dead wood.
By continuing to look inside without judgement, you may quickly realise that you have taken a wrong turn. In an almost miraculous way this insight came to me; you will always receive exactly the right information at the exact right time. This will bring you back on the right track.
Cultivated silence seepes into daily life. In the beginning it was quite difficult; see above. But eventually the fear of emptiness and silence disappeared and it became very pleasant. Especially because it goes hand in hand with the absence of desire and that feels liberating.
In Taoism and Buddhism, mention is often made of how the absence of desire leads to enlightenment and that is indeed true.
And you can always formulate a new goal, an intention, for yourself if an unbearable lightness arises. It is simply nice to live towards something and to remain aware of the constant state of change: it never stops and through a positive intention your change leads towards becoming whole.
Setting an intention is a good way to encourage yourself to grow and not to stagnate. Setting an intention is not the same as giving in to desire. An important part of setting an intention is letting go of the desire and to reach for results.
A new insight at the level of Jing: the physical body
In the first weeks of this stage I started feeling pain in my lower back (Ming-Men). During the meditation everything went well but later in the day my back felt painful. I couldn’t figure out what was causing it.
At the Happy Spirit festival I booked a treatment with Qigong Masseur Figo. www.figos.org He checked the position of my feet and gave me the insight that Ming Men opens in the standing meditation – you turn your toes inwards which opens Ming Men – but Ming-Men also closes again when you walk with your feet pointed outwards after the meditation. And I did indeed do that. Within a week (!) I learned not to turn my toes outwards while walking and the pain in my lower back disappeared. So pay attention to the position of your feet when walking!
From December 14, 2024 I started practicing for 45 minutes each day instead of the usual 30 minutes. The second difference is that I don’t skip any practice anymore. Now I miss the meditation so much when I skip a day that I even do it on (too) busy days. Be stronger than your excuse! And I always seem to find a gap in my agenda in which I can practice zhan zhuang
Somewhat to my surprise, the extension of the duration of the meditation was physically quite heavy (again). But now I can stand for 35 minutes without any problem. When I stood for half an hour, the last 10 minutes were also heavier. So by extending the time I devote to the standing meditation, I immediately extended the length of attention and thus the quality of the exercise.
Keeping the quality high every day remains a challenge. I will have to accept that you do not reach new peaks every day and that one also goes through deep valleys. Fist of all let go of any expectation about how the exercise will turn out any particular day. When I have reached a peak the day before, the expectation that I will peak again is often there and it always turns out very disappointing. When I stand without any expectations, open to whatever experience comes, it usually turns out beautiful.
Insight at the level of Shen: consciousness
At the end of the 4th stage of the gong I got an image of an ancestor. It was my great-grandfather – I only know this man from a photo – My great-grandfather bears exactly the same name as my father.
The first ¾ of his life this man was a cheerful drinker and joker. He was also known as a good singer. But around the age of 40 he completely turned around and became super religious. He reportedly suffered from a form of religious mania.
When I look at his life, it seems somewhat similar to mine. Jokester, singer, eager to be the center of attention, followed by a sudden turn to the inner world.
There is a difference though. I had an experience much earlier that resembled religious mania. 37 years ago I had a very, very, very bad experience with LSD.
In the beginning it was beautiful, but I couldn’t keep what I was experiencing to myself and the reactions from the outside world were very negative. It felt like no one could understand me anymore and I couldn’t explain what was happening; it was too much. Because of that I was completely off track for a while. I even was hospitalised!
This experience is a barrier that now prevents me from completely surrendering to what Qigong unleashes in me.
During the meditation I suddenly felt a connection with my great-grandfather. I have always found his life and image terrifying and he was certainly not an example for me. But now I understood my own fear of the depths a lot better. Here not only my own, but also an ancestral trauma was in my way. Learning tio cope with ancestral trauma again is something books about Qigong mention will happen once you reach a certain level.
Now I could get closer step by step and allow more and more. But I still don’t dare to take the big leap. I feel like I’m stuck in the domain of safety. Afraid to let go of my safety.
Ancestral barrier
During zhan zhuang I felt very strongly that I had to break through a barrier. My great-grandfather represents that barrier for me. The obstacle is very clear. During the LSD trip it literally felt like I was directly connected to all the information of the entire universe. Beautiful visions and insights passed by, but a deep-rooted fear also surfaced. The outside world did not offer me a safe place. The person I was tripping with did not offer it, my family did not, my circle of friends did not. I was completely lost for weeks. I managed to leave this behind me, but I somehow created a barrier against extrasensory experiences.
One of our life tasks is to break through the circle of ancestral trauma. So I have cultivated an open mind for everything that is wonderful about life and the cosmos. Now I walk carefully through this field of information and it feels OK; safe. First I didn’t trust my intuition, but it grows with every good experience. What I feel is almost always right. I do continue to check my intuition very critically. Doubt is good, it keeps you alert.
During a healing meditation I saw myself at the end of a jetty with an immeasurably deep water in front of me knowing that if I took one more step I would be further from home than I had ever been. It was as if I felt a hand on my shoulder that turned me around and then I saw a new possibility: I could also walk back down the jetty and from the shallows slowly into the depths. What a beautiful insight that was and what a clear indication of how I can continue my path.
Shortly after this insight came in I read the following about Japanese Zen:
What is the barrier of the ancestral teachers? It is just this one word, “Mu” – the one barrier of our belief. We call it the Gateless Barrier of the Zen tradition. When you pass through this barrier, you will walk hand in hand with the ancestral teachers in the successive generations of our lineage—the hair of your eyebrows intertwined with theirs, seeing with the same eyes, hearing with the same ears, hearing with the same ears. Won’t that be satisfying? Is there anyone who would not want to pass through this barrier?
So, make your whole body a mass of doubt, and concentrate with your three hundred and sixty bones and joints and eighty-four thousand hair follicles on this one word, “Mu.” Keep digging into it day and night. Don’t regard it as nothing. Don’t think in terms of “has” or “has not.” It is like swallowing a red-hot iron ball. You try to vomit it out, but you can’t.
Gradually you purify yourself, eliminating the wrong knowledge and attitudes you have had from the past. Inside and outside become one. You are like a mute person who has had a dream—you know it only for yourself.
Suddenly Mu breaks open. The heavens are astonished, the earth shakes. It is as if you have seized the great sword of General Kuan. When you meet the Buddha, you kill the Buddha. When you meet Bodhidharma, you kill Bodhidharma. On the brink of birth and death you find the Great Freedom. In the Six Worlds and the Four Sages of Birth you enjoy a samadhi of joy and play. How then should you work with it? Exhaust all your life energy on this one word, “Mu.” If you do not hesitate, it is done! A single spark lights your Dharma candle.
So the name Mu-Long of my practice now has an even deeper meaning than I first thought. That too is beautiful.
